We're like a lot better than the average bears
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
