My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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