nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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