its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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