forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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