SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
