hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
