1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize