worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
