I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
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