How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
