so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
