Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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