we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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