it was like his penis was on wheels.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Just high enough for therapy.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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