He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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