I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
His hands were made for my vagina.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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