let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
A bitchslap is in order.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize