i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
