There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
