With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
You left your underwear on the fireplace
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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