I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
