He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
