um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
