Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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