all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
