kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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