I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
