I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
what is it with giant penises always finding me
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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