i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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