she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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