sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
