I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
