she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
