I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
