Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
