I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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