Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
