i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
