I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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