I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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