he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
