you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Two words: nipple clamps
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