sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
