brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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