His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
