Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.