I wish I could teleport
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
