when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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