were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
