I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Randomize
