it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
