Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
