There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
the liver wants what the liver wants
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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