your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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