wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
