Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Randomize
