you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
