did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
