in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Randomize
