I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
