Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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