is wine microwaveable?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
