plz talk dirty to me
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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