My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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