Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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